The Role of a Death Doula in Peaceful End-of-Life Planning

Death is a natural part of life, but how we view the process can bring peace and clarity to our experience for ourselves and our loved ones. In the latest episode of the Fitness for 55+ Podcast, brought to you by Stronger Life in Lexington, KY, physical therapist Dr. Dustin Jones sits down with death doula Lauren Hunter-Smith of Bluegrass Death Doula to demystify the role of a death doula and the importance of thoughtful end-of-life planning.

What is a Death Doula?

A death doula is a professional who supports individuals and families through the end-of-life process, providing emotional, physical, and educational assistance. Much like a birth doula aids in bringing life into the world, a death doula offers guidance and comfort as someone approaches the end-of-life. Their role can include a range of services: facilitating conversations about death, helping with advanced care directives, offering comfort care such as sound therapy or guided meditation, assisting with funeral planning, and creating "death nests" or peaceful environments for those in active dying. Death doulas also help families plan legacy projects and offer support to those who may be alone, ensuring they have companionship and guidance through their final moments.

6 Insights from the Podcast

Here are the six essential insights Lauren shared to help us all make compassionate, informed end-of-life plans.

1. Understanding the Role of a Death Doula

The role of a death doula is as multifaceted as it is compassionate. While most people are familiar with birth doulas, death doulas are a growing presence, providing both practical and emotional support through the process of dying. Lauren explained that her work involves guiding individuals and families through choices related to end-of-life care, as well as offering sound therapy, aromatherapy, and comfort care services to enhance the final stages of life.

Death is as unique as birth. Lauren notes that every journey requires its own approach. By offering educational resources and guidance, death doulas can help create a supportive environment that honors the wishes and needs of those nearing the end of their lives.

2. The Importance of Early Planning

One of the most crucial steps in end-of-life care is to start planning early. Lauren emphasized that the sooner people begin this conversation, the more flexibility and options they’ll have to make meaningful, intentional choices. Early planning also reduces stress for family members, who might otherwise have to make challenging decisions in moments of crisis.

We all think we’ll have time. However, death often comes quickly and without warning. By having advance care directives in place and discussing funeral preferences, people can relieve much of the decision-making burden from their loved ones, allowing space for grieving and reflection.

3. Establishing Advanced Care Directives

Advanced care directives are essential documents that lay out an individual’s medical wishes should they become unable to communicate them. Lauren described these directives as the cornerstone of any end-of-life plan, guiding both healthcare providers and family members through what can be an emotionally charged time.

Decisions come fast during end-of-life care. Lauren explained that people often assume there will be time to make these choices. However, without directives in place, families can face delays or, worse, have decisions made that might not align with their loved one’s wishes. Advanced care directives empower individuals and bring a sense of peace to their families, who can rest assured they are honoring their loved one’s desires.

4. Creating Legacy Projects and Comfort Care

In addition to planning for physical and medical needs, Lauren highlighted the value of legacy projects—activities or items that create lasting memories for loved ones. Legacy projects can be as simple as a recorded message, a scrapbook, or even a piece of writing. These projects allow individuals to leave behind something meaningful that reflects who they are, providing comfort and connection for families long after the person has passed.

Comfort care, including sound therapy and hand massages, also plays a vital role in supporting both the individual and their family during end-of-life care. Lauren shared that these practices not only bring physical relief but also ease emotional tensions, allowing everyone to participate more fully and meaningfully in the final stages of life.

5. Collaborating with Hospice and Supporting Solo Agers

Death doulas often work closely with hospice services, filling gaps that hospice, with its corporate structure and limitations, may not cover. For instance, while hospice provides critical medical support, a death doula like Lauren can help families navigate logistical details, offer companionship, and provide additional emotional support during this sensitive time.

Lauren also works with “solo agers,” individuals who don’t have a traditional support system of family or close friends. For these clients, a death doula’s role is to ensure they feel cared for and supported until the very end. As Lauren explains, “People have more community than they realize.” and I help solo agers, “make sure that you are taken care of till your last moment.”

6. Dispelling Taboos and Normalizing Death Conversations

One of the most profound insights Lauren shared is the importance of having open, honest conversations about death. Many people avoid these discussions, fearing that talking about death somehow makes it more likely to happen. However, Lauren encourages people to approach these conversations with openness, as this reduces fear and empowers individuals to make decisions that bring peace and closure.

Through her work, Lauren has witnessed how families benefit when death is approached with transparency and intentionality. She believes that discussing and planning for death can provide both the dying and their families with a sense of clarity and relief. By dispelling the taboos surrounding death, Lauren and others in her field are helping people embrace the end of life as a natural and important part of the human experience.

Important Links Mentioned in Podcast

Bluegrass Death Doula is the first business of its kind in Central Kentucky. BGDD offers death education, end-of-life planning, legacy project assistance, comfort therapy, living funerals, vigil services, home funeral guidance, green burial consultations, & celebrant services.

“Five Wishes” is the nation’s only national advance care planning program. Providing peace-of-mind for more than 25 years.

Want to Learn More?

We invite you to listen to the full episode of our podcast, #26: 6 Insights for Compassionate End-of-Life Planning with Lauren Hunter-Smith, the Death Doula, and explore how open conversations and thoughtful planning can transform your experience of aging and end-of-life care.

We also invite you to join our StrongerLife community in Lexington, KY, where we help seniors live stronger, fuller lives! Try a free class today! Click below to schedule a call.